Who and What Guides the Moral Choices You Make?

We all have a certain way of viewing and living in the world through the many choices we make. Our worldviews have generally changed and developed over time as a result of what we have learned from our parents and significant others, from our education and learning, from our various cultural influences, and from our day-to-day experiences.

Are there some worldviews and ways of living that are more life-enhancing than others? Are there guides and resources that can help us to discern and decide which ways to live are true, right and good, and will lead us to deeper and more loving and life-enhancing relationships with God, with others, with ourselves, and with creation.

We are not perfect. But each day we are called to make a number of moral choices. The basic principle of the Christian moral life is the awareness that every person bears the dignity of being made in the image and likeness of God, who has given to each of us an immortal soul and the gifts of intelligence, self-reflection, and a free will. We are also given a conscience.

Every moral act has three elements: the objective act (what we do), the subjective goal or intention (why we do the act), and the concrete situation or circumstances in which we perform the act (where, when, how, with whom, the consequences, etc.). For an individual act to be a morally good act, all three elements must be good.

We are not talking about choices based on one's preferences, such as choosing to have chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla ice cream. Rather, morality deals with the questions of what is right and wrong, our ability to distinguish between these two, and our justification for the distinctions we make. Sometimes, the basis on which one makes a moral choice may be more important than the choice itself.¹

Further, whether intended or not, our moral choices may damage, injure, or harm ourselves, others, or creation, whether physically, psychologically, emotionally, or spiritually. And the moral choices we make that are not right and good may harm or impair our relationships with God, others, ourselves and creation, even to the point of severing these relationships.

Our moral choices reflect our character. A self-evaluation of our own moral character may be for us to reflect on what we think, do, and say about persons and situations when nobody is watching or listening.²

Therefore, it is important to reflect on and decide who or what will inform and guide our moral choices. Will it be our self-interests? Will it be standards used by the groups to which we belong or identify with? Will it be the teachings of a religion, or some other voice or source we consider to be authoritative? Will it be our informed conscience? Will it be the promptings of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us? In the end, however, we are each ultimately responsible for the moral choices we make.

We may seek to hide our past, moral failures ("sins") from others, and fail or refuse to acknowledge them to God.³ We may erroneously believe that God can never forgive us for what we did. We may live with guilt and in continual fear of being shamed or held responsible if someone finds out what we did or failed to do, even when these events occurred a long time ago. If discovered, we may seek to try to justify, minimize, rationalize, or explain these moral failures away or project them onto others.

What can you do when you have made a wrong or bad moral decision? First, honestly admit your moral failure to yourself, accept responsibility for your failure, and acknowledge the harm it caused to yourself and to others. Second, humbly admit and repent of this moral failure to God and ask for God’s forgiveness, healing, the grace to be transformed, to learn and to grow from this failure, and the power not to repeat this moral failure again. In that regard, the Church offers us the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. Third, depending on the nature and severity of your actions, the circumstances in which they occurred, and the length of time that has passed, accept responsibility for the consequences of your words and actions that have caused harm, injury, or damage to others, seek to make amends or restitution with them, unless doing so would cause additional harm or injury to them or to others. Finally, accept God’s unconditional love, forgiveness and absolution, letting go of your pangs of guilt and shame, and move on with your life.

1. For example, a person proclaims publicly that they are giving $100.00 to a non-profit organization that serves the poor. The person does this solely because they believe it will enhance their prestige in the eyes of others, and not out of any compassion to help towards alleviating the needs of others. The choice to give the money is not made for the right reason. In other words, would the person still give the money to someone because they are in need if they perceived that nobody would know of their gift?

2. A person's "character" generally means the total sum of their qualities or traits that describe them, whether physical, emotional, mental, moral, or spiritual. Sometimes, a person's character may be imprinted for life by a single act. For example, if one intentionally steals the property belonging to another, they may be viewed as a "thief." If they never steal again, they may now be considered a "reformed thief." If they acknowledge and repent of their moral failure, and ask for God's forgiveness, they may be viewed as a "forgiven thief." Consider history's identification of the character of one of the persons crucified along with Jesus, identifying him as the "good thief" or "penitent thief," even though those particular words are not used in Scripture (See Luke 23:39-43).

3. The term "sin" is defined as "an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as 'an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law....Sin is an offense against God. It arises up against God in a disobedience contrary to the obedience of Christ" " (Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos. 1849, 1871). "In judging the gravity of sin, it is customary to distinguish between mortal and venial sin" (Id. at p. 899). A "venial sin" is one "which does not destroy the divine life in the soul, as does mortal sin, though it diminishes and wounds it (no. 1855). Venial sin is the failure to observe necessary moderation, in lesser matters of moral law, or in grave matters acting without full knowledge or complete consent (1862)" ( Id. at p. 902). A "mortal sin" is "a grave infraction of the law of God that destroys the divine life in the soul of the sinner (sanctifying grace), constituting a turn away from God. For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be present: grave matter, full knowledge of the evil of the act, and full consent of the will (1855, 1857)" (Id. at p. 889). "Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your father and your mother.' The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger" (Id. at no. 1858). Forgiveness of mortal sins is received through the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. Venial sins can be forgiven through any act that confers the infusion of grace, such as: worthy reception of the Eucharist, a sincere act of contrition, penance, recital of the Confiteor ("I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned,...") or the Lord's Prayer, fasting, almsgiving, or when receiving the seven Sacraments.