Transcending Our Pain and Suffering

All people will experience some degree of pain, suffering, diminishment, limitation, or loss in their life, whether arising within them, such as physical ailments or from psychological or emotional conflicts, such as fear, anxiety, or worry. Pain can also arise from our relationships with others, such as experiencing a loss of a loved one, undergoing a divorce, a loss of employment, being a victim of war, or experiencing an absence of God in our lives. There is also pain that arises from the forces of nature, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, and the like.

Pain and suffering are often used interchangeably, but they are not necessarily the same. “Pain is a physical sensation or signal indicating an event within the body. Suffering is the interpretation of that event and involves thoughts, beliefs, or judgments, and reflects the human experience of pain.” ¹

Our experience teaches that pain and suffering are inherent in the human condition, sometimes even necessary. For example, without initially experiencing some physical pain, we may not even be aware that we have a medical or dental condition that needs treatment. Emotional or other types of pain may inform us that we are not content with our current situation and that change may be needed.

Although people may experience pain and suffering in different ways and degrees, the effects are real, and nobody is immune from them. Even Jesus of Nazareth experienced the pain and suffering of his passion, crucifixion, death, and his perceived abandonment by God (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”— Mark 15:35-36; Matthew 27:47,49; Psalm 22:1).

Sometimes our physical and psychological pain can be treated, healed, alleviated, or diminished through the intervention of appropriate health care, or psychological, spiritual, or other forms of counseling. Other times our pain cannot be effectively removed, such as when one's body succumbs to an incurable disease. In the end, everyone will eventually experience the pain and suffering associated with our physical death.

One way to begin to transcend your pain is through transforming your thoughts about the reality of your current situation. This is not easy because we are attached to our own mental constructions of reality (“I can't be sick” or “I shouldn’t have been fired), and we strive to oppose any reality that is contrary to our preconceived mental constructions (“Why is this happening to me?” and “Who is to blame?”). We may even seek to maintain our mentally constructed reality through trying to bargain with God or others (“If you stop this I will promise to . . . .”) We may also cling to fears and anxiety that can perpetuate or enhance our pain, even leading us to depression (“I can’t bear this. My situation is hopeless”).²

Eventually, passing through these stages of suffering arising from your pain can ultimately lead you to the acceptance of your existing reality. This does not mean that you approve of your current situation or do not want to change it, to the extent that you or others are able, but you can begin the process of healing and transcending the suffering arising from your pain.

Moreover, as Christians, we believe that you are not alone with your pain and suffering. Through faith we believe that our loving and merciful God is present and accompanies you, and will provide you with sufficient grace to help you heal from and transcend your pain and suffering. This does not necessarily mean that you will be cured from a debilitating physical condition but, if you remain faithful, God will grant you healing that allows you to accept and face your pain or loss head-on, with peace, courage, and hope. There are also Christian and other faith-based communities and groups, such as those for cancer survivors, those who grieve, or for alcoholicsm or other addictions, who will journey with you with love, compassion, prayer, and support.

1 Shaunna Siler, PhD, RN, Tami Borneman, RN, MSN, CNS, FPCN, and Betty Ferrell, PhD, RN, FAAN, FPCN, CHPNb, “Pain and Suffering,” National Library of Medicine, April 30, 2019 (accessed January 25, 2024).
2 One may recognize that these comments are an adaptation of the "Five Stages of Grief"—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance— as formulated by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler.